Asking for Help
La version française de cet article est disponible ici.
This week, as part of a series of articles on self-confidence, I explain why asking for help is an indicator of self-confidence. As paradoxical as it might sound — particularly given the prevalence of myths of the “self-made” professional — there are several reasons why a request for help is actually a sign of strength.
First, when one is faced with a problem, one has two choices: either give up or do something about it. Therefore, by asking for help, you demonstrate your belief that you can overcome the problem. In addition, being helped by someone else is an opportunity to learn skills from that person that will help you to be more independent in the future.
Second, one sign of intelligence is the capacity to distinguish between areas where you are an expert and those where you need a bit of assistance. Knowing the limits of your capacities requires wisdom; it shows that you are capable not only of evaluating your own abilities, but also humble enough to be able to admit when somebody else is best placed to take the lead.
Third, when you ask for help, you benefit from the investment you have made in your network. Human beings are social animals; those in your network are a determining factor in your success. And that network doesn’t just build itself: it takes considerable time, effort and skill. When you ask someone in your network for help, you reap the benefits of all of that work. Trying to do everything on your own is like leaving gold in the mine.
Finally, asking for help strengthens social ties. Another aspect of the sociability of human beings is that, as a general rule, we actually really like helping others. When you ask someone for help, you demonstrate that you have faith in that person’s abilities. The ties between the person helping and the person being helped become stronger as a result of their co-operation, and both people usually learn from each other. A simple request for help can even be the start of a long-term collaboration that allows each person to realise his or her full potential.
In sum, asking for help is a great way to demonstrate your self-confidence — and to develop the skills that will help it grow even further.
Could you use some help with a challenge at work? Drop me a line here and we can have a chat about how we might be able to work together. If you would like to learn a little bit about me first, take a look here.