Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt
Most of my clients have extremely demanding jobs; they would have never gotten there without an above-average intellect and extraordinary work ethic. Nevertheless, many people in such positions lack confidence in their own abilities. I regularly hear different variations on the following themes;
I have gotten where I am mostly by luck;
Any awards or recognition I have received are anomalies;
I need to work twice as hard as my colleagues because I am less effective;
One day, someone is going to realise that I do not deserve this job.
The problem is complex, and the root cause is different for everyone; for that reason, I shall come back to this theme in the future. But first, I think it is important to take stock of the cost of all of this self-doubt.
Time. Even if it is necessary and even healthy to question oneself from time to time — for example to re-read a report one last time before submitting it to an important stakeholder — the time spent on unnecessary work solely because of self-doubt quickly surpasses what is necessary to do good (or even excellent) work.
Energy. Your job is stressful enough: why add any more stress, especially as burnout continues to become more and more common? Ruminating on supposed shortcomings is exhausting, and rarely leads to any concrete action to overcome any possible weaknesses.
Opportunities. The position for which you do not apply, the promotion you do not request, the raise you do not dare ask for: the list of opportunities lost because of a lack of self-confidence can quickly become long. But remember: the list of people less qualified than you and who do not have the same doubts about their abilities is just as long — and those people will not hesitate to grab opportunities on which others will too easily pass.
Relationships. Lack of self-confidence frequently gets in the way of healthy and productive relationships with colleagues. If you continually doubt your capacities, you are more likely to interpret what people say to you as critiques, for the simple reason that what we expect to see or hear strongly influences what we think we read or hear (click here for a previous article that discusses this phenomenon in more detail, from a slightly different angle).
The reason I mention all of this is to demonstrate that:
If you lack a bit of self-confidence, you are definitely not alone;
There is no causal link between a lack of self-confidence and any actual shortcomings: self-doubt is not a good indicator of your actual abilities;
Contrary to what many people tell themselves, your self doubt probably does much more harm than good.
Although there is no easy remedy to a lack of self-confidence, a good place to start is by acknowledging that all of this self-doubt is simply not worth it. Then, talk with someone you trust. They are also likely to have doubts about their own abilities; you can both help each other chip away at your self-doubt.
If you are curious how working together could help you improve your self-confidence, why not drop me a line? If you would like to know more about me, take a look here.